Meanwhile, Our Hero adjusts his tie as he waits to meet with a recruiter in the city’s third largest temp placement firm. He has discovered that crime fighting is a truly thankless job, monetarily speaking. Being on patrol means he must work shorter shifts at the restaurant where he is a waiter and the expenses add up. In the past month alone he has needed to purchase a new car, two dozen cans of matte black spray paint, rope, a tazer, handcuffs (Our Hero still wonders why he could only find handcuffs covered in pink and white fur), boots, and spandex. He saved some money by sewing the costume himself. At the time, he chose to take on the tailoring as a security precaution. After all, what tailor could he trust with his secret identity? Now, he congratulates himself for having keen, costume related financial foresight, but he cannot hide from his ever mounting debt.
Our Hero knows this all to well. A new villain, Jeff the Collector has surfaced to confound Our Hero. During dinner, early in the morning, in the middle of training, no time seems off-limits to the Collector. He hounds are hero day and night, and worse, he can connect the Justice Car to Our Hero’s secret identity. He threatens the retirement of Our Hero’s mother during nearly every call. Our Hero of course warns the collector to leave his family alone, but the collector is unmoved. Just last week the collector’s intransigence forced Our Hero to scream into the phone, “How do I defeat you?” Even this failed to disturb the collector. He replied calmly, “Just pay what you owe.” Our Hero slammed down the phone before booting up the laptop of justice and prepared his resume.
The recruiter calls Our Hero into her office. She wears a bright red blouse and glasses that remind Our Hero of his grandmother. She is younger than Our Hero expected, much younger. Our Hero estimates that she is his age, if not a little younger. Instantly, Our Hero’s pulse quickens and his skin begins to itch under his suit and costume. Sweat begins to emerge at the top of his brow and under his arms, he tries to keep composure. Hero’s should not sweat and when they do, it must be ignored.
“So,” says the recruiter, “what kind of work are you looking for.”
“I’d like to do good work,” Our Hero replies, “something that helps my fellow man.”
“Non-profit work then,” She says while gazing at Our Hero over the rims of her glasses. The look makes Our Hero nervous; he makes a mental note to learn the technique for interrogations.
“Oh, no,” he says, “I’d like to be paid for my work. I was thinking of something at a newspaper, maybe for the crime section.”
“I’m afraid that we don’t handle positions in journalism.”
“I see. Well how about at a laboratory? Preferably one that specializes in non-lethal weapons development.”
The recruiter picks up Our Hero’s resume and scans it, shaking her head as she reads. “You don’t have a background in science.”
“I took chemistry and biology in college.”
“Yes, I can see that, but you majored in interdisciplinary studies.”
Our Hero nods, he is proud of his degree. The recruiter apparently has failed to see the value of a well-rounded education. “Why don’t we talk about your skills. What would make you a valuable addition to a company you might work for?”
Our Hero straightens his back and leans forward a little. He has prepared a response to this question. He practiced it in the mirror before leaving the house. “I have an acute sense of perception.” The recruiter lifts one eyebrow, but says nothing. “You see, I never miss the finest detail. Nothing gets past me. This could be especially helpful in a business where the smallest mistake could cost millions, if not billions of dollars.”
“Anything else?”
“Yes, I am a very fast learner. I completed Master Al’s DVD Six Week Kung-Fu Boot Camp in four weeks. A full two weeks ahead of the program’s advertised schedule.”
The recruiter turns Our Hero’s resume over and places it on the desk. She interlaces her fingers and sets her hands on top of the resume, “I’m sorry Mr. Kemp, but I do not believe we will be able to find you suitable employment.”
“I see,” Our Hero rises to leave, “Thank you for your time.” He walks to the door and is about to open it when a thought occurs to Our Hero. He turns back to the recruiter and says, “Since we are no longer engaged in a business relationship, would you like to join me for coffee some time?”
The recruiter smiles at out hero and holds up her left hand. Our Hero notices the diamond ring decorating her rind finger.
“Oh,” Our Hero says, “my apologies.”
“Acute perceptions?” The recruiter smirks, which makes Our Hero feel as if he has been suddenly deflated.
He forces himself to straighten his posture and hold up his chin. “Yes, even the smallest detail. Congratulations.”
After leaving the temporary placement firm, Our Hero walks down the street in search of a coffee shop. He has two more interviews in the afternoon.